Subway fun

Random thoughts from todays subway ride. Subways make me sleepy. I yawn. Asian lady sits beside me and totally coincidentally I yawn and put my hand to my mouth. She flipped out. Started yelling at me and saying not all asians have SARS and i'm ignorant and shit. I laughed, I told her "chill out, I just yawned, but if I really was hiding my face from you, it would be to cover my nose cuz she you are in dire need of a tic-tac". She got mad and moved away, and this hot lil asian chick sat down and laughed with me. Then she got up cuz her stop was next. Damnit.

Next .. continuing on the asian thing .. I heard this lady wanting to say "usually" and she said "usery" and I cracked up and almost tripped. Shaddup, it's funny to me, I never actually heard the replacement "r"s before.

I saw this old dude with a giant ... and I mean GIANT bag of bread crumbs bread slices and instantly thought of the joke ... "why do birds fly south for the winter? ... cuz that's where the old folks go" .. I'll never ever be the dude in the park feeding pigeons. Now clocking some pigeons I most likely will. Yeah and that reminds me of my new chorus I repeat to myself while walking on the street .. I am so P ... I . M. P. ... It rhymes, I swear, u have to have a specific rhythm.

The client meeting I was at, was crazy. 3 hours long and dude smoked about 7 cigs and 5 spliffs. He has cancer and doesn't give a shit, his whole house is like a smoke shop. But it wasn't smokey or gross, he's in a penthouse, living in the Manulife centre. If you know Toronto, that's Yorkville, very posh.

I had to go whizz before I met him but I forgot .. so I was thinking I'd just go after the meeting. You know that means I was holding a whizz for over 3 hours. That shit hurts. Bad. I saw an insane-o compulsive handwasher in the subway bathroom. He was washing his hands when I got in and after I let n8agra falls go, he was still soaping his hands, wrist, arms. I washed, soaped and dried my hands and left. I think he groined cuz I took less than hour to do it. In my rush to find a place for my body's excess water to be freed I lost track of what side of the subway I was on. So uh I went like 5 stops farther back than where I started from and .. well had to slowly walk to the other side. You know the walk I did, the dumbass head and neck slumped, I know I was an idiot walk to the prinicipals office we all did. Yeah that was me. But I'm glad I didn't have to whizz no more. I shall say whizz for the last time. Whizz.

Oh .. um .. I wanna be like my home skillet and go travel. Sooooo if you want to put up with my ass and have a n8 live and in person visit .. holla at me .. and uh I hope u have a car ... or maybe we can go on a subway adventure together.